questions on rare occasion

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. . Stupid
Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:- Dont u know, I sell
tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on
your feet... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer:- No, not
at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people. Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been
you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question:- Is ! the
"Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made
of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years... Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid
Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer:- No,he's a
miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid
Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? Answer:- No. I was doing research
on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was
sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:- No, its autumn
and I'm shedding.... ..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer:- No it wont. It will
just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Stupid
Question:- Oh, so you smoke. Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle .......it
was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!